An Extroverts Guide to Loving an Introvert!

Have you ever met a person that you thought was a complete bitch or a total asshole but then you get to know them and they’re nothing like you expected? The world is full of amazing people with different types of personalities.

Much can be misunderstood about an introverted person. Many people describe them as shy, quiet, loners, weird, socially inept and other generalizations that may or may not be true. Many introverts rarely show signs of introversion around their families and close friends. Mainly because they have developed a level of comfort and trust with the people they are closest to.

When entering into a friendship/relationship with an introverted person, there are some things you have to understand before determining if that level of commitment is for you.

Introverts spend a lot of time deep in thought: an introverted person takes time to think about thinks more critically than an extroverted person. When they engage in conversation, the introverts mind races much quicker, despite the fact that they are usually slower to respond. An introverted person sees most conversations as one would see an intense game of chess. They weigh all possible reactions to their words before allowing them to slip from their lips. This may not be true 100% of the time but a large portion of conversations are well thought out. The reason an introverted person thinks so critically is because an introverted person is usually highly sensitive and does not do well with being judged, chastised, criticized or ridiculed. While being sensitive is often part of an introverts nature, we are often very strong and independent people. We know how to lead and stay comfortable in the background.

Introverts need more reassurance: an introverted person can have the highest self-esteem and still crave that acceptance from others. While we crave the acceptance, being liked is not a priority. We just like to know that we are acknowledged. In relationships our partners opinion matters more than anyone else and we often overcompensate in order to get the praise we crave.

Introverted people are often very passionate and sensual people. We enjoy giving our best efforts and the reward of being successful. An introverted person truly understands that it is better to give than to receive.

Introverts do not like being the center of attention, while they are usually able to appear extremely comfortable in front of a crowd. When forced into the spotlight we could be talking about a particular subject but in our heads we are thinking “please don’t trip up these steps,” or “hope my skirt isn’t tucked into my panties” or more like my introverted brain “if I fall off this stage I hope an Idris Elba fine ass man catches me and asks me on a date!”

At the end of the day, an introverted person is not needy but they appreciate knowing that they matter. They love spending time with the people they are closest with but they also love spending time to process their thoughts.

But don’t count out an introvert because they are often strong, resilient, loving, open and very easy to get along with. They are rarely stuck up, shy or standoffish as they may appear to me.

Just know that we are worth learning how to love.
-ThatDopeBlackGirl

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