Relationship Goals by Michael Todd
OK…. I just tried to write a review that was objective and highlighted some positives from this book. But I erased that mess because it wasn’t my authentic thoughts and feelings. Part of my reason for writing this blog is to be my authentic self and while I NEVER strive to offend anyone, I’m not going to sugarcoat my thoughts.
Y’all. I just didn’t like it and I think I was so disappointed because when I asked if I should read it so many people said it was the best relationship book, they’ve ever read. Now I’m not calling those folks liars but now I want to know what other relationship books they’ve read in comparison. I had no idea who Pastor Mike Todd was prior to ordering this book but while waiting to begin reading it I watched some YouTube videos of him and his wife. Seeing their chemistry had me excited to read this book and it fell so flat for me.
I had to force myself to finish it. Ironically, the last few pages gave me the most positive thoughts about the entire work. I felt like this book was way too preachy and contained nothing but Bible teachings that I could get from either reading the word or being inquisitive in Sunday school. The tone came off as that judgmental Christian thing that keeps people from flocking to the church. I don’t like being made to feel like God is disappointed in me because my sins are more egregious than the next sinners and that is exactly how I felt reading this book.
Now, as much as I disliked it there were some parts that weren’t all bad. The chapters on taking aim and intentional dating because I believe that knowing what you desire, deserve and expect needs to be clear before you enter a relationship, and those things need to be communicated clearly to your partner in the beginning. As a woman in my 30’s who has dated a few knuckleheads and a few amazing men, I also know the importance of dating with intention and not wasting time. I know that I am not meant to walk through life along and have spent the last 7 years allowing God to work on me, in spite of my imperfections.
I think this book would have been better if he had focused on the marriage aspect of things or perhaps written it as a series. But maybe I’m just not in the targeted audience demographic which is fine. Just like every good person isn’t right for you, every author isn’t right for you. Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this book unless you’re a Bible belt Christian or a young adult seeking guidance. If you’re a grown person who has experienced some things in life and love, you probably won’t get much from this book.
Next Up: The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennet
Open Mike… Mic Drop!
2021 is the year of healing for me. Part of me healing is getting back to things that I love and I love a good book. I started building my 2021 reading list in early December and the first thing on my list was Open Mike by Mike Hill! I ordered from Amazon and my book came around the 22 of December. My plan was to start in on 1 January 2021, but I couldn’t wait.
Let me start with the look of this book. I ordered the hardcover book because Auntie Tab said that’s my business. This book arrived with no book jacket but an actual HARD COVER! I loved that little touch because it let me know that Mike Hill cares about the quality of his product. The book was beautiful and the only thing that would have made it better would be to have gotten it signed.
I want to give my thoughts on this book without spoiling it for anyone who wants to read it so let me choose my words carefully. Reading Mike’s book was like having an intimate conversation with one of my good friends. He writes in a way that’s relatable and not at all boring. They way he jumps back and forth between work, family and relationship is expert because it appeals to those of us who want the tea but also those who are fans of his from sports tv. If Mike had given me all the juice about his relationships in the beginning, I know I wouldn’t have finished. Which is a shame because I actually found the stuff about ESPN and the inner workings of broadcasting fascinating (I used to want to be a journalist).
More than learning about a man, I learned a lot about myself. I was able to take the emotions Mike described and apply them to my own life. I could also appreciate the vulnerability of this Black man! If you know me, you know that I believe Black men are mystical magical creatures and there is nothing more beautiful than experiencing the growth of a one of these special beings. I also learned about some of the pressures and stressors men feel when it comes to protecting and providing for their families. BLACK MEN… sigh!
Reading about Mike’s integral relationships with women, not just romantically, spoke a lot about how he has been impacted by women because we all know the saying “behind every strong man…” you know the rest. As a woman, I gained insight into past relationships just by seeing how Mike learned lessons and what he was feeling in those moments as opposed to his hindsight reflections. I hope he sends his mama flowers every time he thinks about kicking her out of his car. I commend any woman that goes through something with a man that ultimately makes him better.
I want the men in my life to read this book because I see so many of them on these pages. I want them to see that growth is possible and healing is necessary to get to that peace. Early in the pandemic I used to watch Mike and Cynthia’s IG Live and seeing the chemistry and glow in their relationship was always an inspiration, especially for those of us in long distance relationships. I mean Cynthia just radiates happiness from the inside out and I love it! After reading this book I see that she not only deserves all the happiness he gives her but Mike put in some major emotional work and deserves all the happiness and success he’s been working for since growing up in Bessemer. Click the following link to read an excerpt of Open Mike by Mike Hill!
Open Mike was a perfect beginning to my 2021 reading list. Up next… Relationship Goals by Michael Todd!
Napturally Dope 