So ladies, you and bae plan a vacation when y’all are in love and can’t get enough of each other. You try to save a few coins by paying the nonrefundable prices because that’s your man and y’all are going to be even more in love in 6 months (vacation time) than you are now so there’s no reason to make “what if” provisions.
You volunteer to pay your way because you want this man to know that you’re not trying to use him for a free trip, plus you need him to know that your bag is just as secure as his. So while he’s shopping for flights, you’re shopping for suites that will allow you to turn a family vacation (his family) into a romantic Baecation!
For months you’re planning for this trip, researching cute couple things to do, listening to him talk about the things he likes so that you can sneak in some surprises, just to see him smile. You order lingerie, cute swimwear, new dresses and sexy heels to prepare for you and your man’s first “baecation.” Additionally, you make sure that you have all essentials taken care of. Essentials include, but are not limited to, the following: appointment to get your snatch waxed, a fresh box of condoms (because men try to trap good women too), Poopourri, period calendar check (nothing cramps a vacation and an all-white outfit like that bitch Mother Nature). Just when you feel like you’ve prepared far enough in advance… you and the man you’ve envisioned as your husband realize that you want different things out of life and your relationship is over.
About 6 weeks out it starts with him making decisions that affect you, without consulting you prior to making said decisions. Then it moves to him giving his secrets and vulnerabilities to other people and you being the last to know what’s going on in his life. He begins to get extremely irritable and snappy with you about everything and you’re left feeling like you’re walking on egg shells. Then he begins to chastise you for not remembering things that he never told you, which confirms that he is giving someone else your secrets. The honey that used to drip from his lips when you spoke and the nightly FaceTime sessions are gone. You realize you haven’t seen him in over a month, though you’ve offered to make the trip to him several times, in spite of the way he’s been acting. You know that he has a lot on his plate and that once you are around him, you all will fall back into that happy place.
You continue to plan for “Baecation 2017” and look forward to getting back on track with this man you love so much, but you have a nagging feeling that his head and heart are long gone. A mere 2 weeks before the trip and AFTER you’ve committed to this non-refundable room, Bae tells you exactly what he wants (or in this case doesn’t want) out of life which is opposite of everything you’ve discussed and happens to be at the top of your non-negotiable list. Knowing that he did a complete 180 degree turn, you feel like he is trying to push you away and you casually try to back out of the trip by asking him “so what are we going to do about this trip to LA?” You’re kinda confused when he says that you all are still going but makes it very clear that you all are NOT in a relationship and that there will be no need for those condoms. By now, Bae is Ghost Bae because you know he exists but you don’t know what he looks like because it’s been so long since you’ve seen him. Part of you wants to back out but you think about the coins you’ve spent on this suite and how the hotel will only credit you with reward points. Plus, you are a woman of your word and would never back out of a commitment, even if you would rather poke your eyes out with rusty nails, rather than spend 5 days with a man who doesn’t want to be bothered with you.
7 days out, you begin to have motivational conversations with yourself and become your own hype man. Mainly because Ghost Bae is acting even stranger than before and double checking your decisions as if you grew up in the projects and consider the Super 8 when making travel accommodations. All your girls are telling you to back out of the trip and come home for the weekend instead but your voice of reason tells you that you deserve this trip and that your dumb ass should have paid the extra $100 for the refundable option, especially since you’ve saved some coins by downgrading from a suite to a regular schmegular ol room. You also skip the snatch waxing and save $12 on buying the PooPourri because well…… what for?
After a long plane ride and dealing with Ghost Bae’s unnecessary attitude, you realize that the only way you’re going to make it through this trip is with laughter, patience and a whole LOT OF LIQUOR. First stop is the liquor store, even though you’re surprised the liquor store is open at 8:30am. Then you put something on your stomach so you can begin to partake in the drankin! You have your first drink by 11:30am, the Gold Bar Whisky you purchased a month ago for his birthday that he just received because you haven’t seen him in more than 6 weeks (read that again with a LOT of attitude), and have some laughs with his hilarious uncle that you just met. You listen to his uncle talk about how much he likes you and how sweet you are and in the back of your mind you’re thinking about how you’ll likely never see uncle again. But you also spend time wondering if Ghost Bae is thinking the same thing, not how much he likes you because he obviously doesn’t but if he’s thinking about how you’ll never see his family again. You spend time with his family and although they feel so familiar and warm, a part of you feels disappointed because you love these people that you’ll never see again.
After a long day of travelling, it’s easy to sleep next to a man that you know does not love you and not touch him. The time change is fucking with you and you’re just MUFUCKIN TIDE!
Day 2, you wake up and remind yourself why you fell in love with this man. You watch him get dressed and remember the mornings you used to wake up to make him breakfast and chat with him before work. The memories flood back and you all begin to laugh and you think “I can get through this.” This is going to be ok and even though we can’t be together, we can at least be friends. Reality comes crashing down when he starts to say and do things that are disrespectful but you don’t trip because 1. He’s not your man anymore and 2. It’s not even worth the argument. Now, being confrontation is not something you do but being observant and borderline nosy is who you are. Then, you have your “BAECATION” aha moment when you’re talking to his aunt, the same way you would talk to your own and she is telling you about how you have to know your worth as a woman and value yourself because sometimes leaving a relationship is more valuable than staying when you know it’s not healthy for you. At this point you say “screw this,” and focus on enjoying yourself. You stop responding to his snide comments and make sure you’re sugary sweet to him, even though you’d rather be a sarcastic asshole.
The event that is the reason you came on the trip is that night and you know that ALL of his family will be there. You put on your game face and prepare to play nice but have your girls on the group chat ready in case you need some emotional back-up. Drinks are flowing and you’re drinking dark because you know you can handle it and not be walking around looking like Iesha drunk ass from Poetic Justice. But you get to this party and end up introducing yourself around because Ghost Bae doesn’t even bother. This is the first time since leaving home that you honestly wish you had stayed in ATL and taken the loss on the room.
But girl… just keep on drankin because it’s giving you that idgaf feeling. After the party Ghost Bae decides for you, again without asking your opinion, that y’all are going to the club with the cousins. You’re cool with it because it’s vacation and his cousins are hilarious. At the club everyone is laughing and getting along and then it happens… the moment when you have to decide if you’re going to keep it cute or have a nigga moment. Let me remind you that you have spent the night drinking dark but foolishly had a patron a pineapple juice in this club. Now back to this nigga moment…
Ghost Bae’s cousin’s boyfriend leans in and whispers in your ear that the family is ready to enjoy some wedding cake and that you need to hurry up and lock Ghost Bae down because you have a 3 million dollar man. Now you feel the anger creeping up into you and you have a split second to either let this entire club know that they got you fucked up or you can keep it classy and respond accordingly. You lean in and respond that you know exactly what Ghost Bae is worth but that Ghost Bae needs to realize the woman that you are because you’re worth your weight in gold and you weigh a lot. You let this man know that he should be telling Ghost Bae those things instead of you. When you tell this man that he needs to wife Ghost Bae’s beautiful cousin he tells you that he’s been trying and in that moment, your eyes mirror his and you both understand each other more than you know. So what do you do? KEEP DRANKING.
But then you feel drunk and the next thing you know, you’re sliding into the Iesha realm and have to focus on shutting the fuck up before you embarrass yourself. Unsure of what time you finally make it to bed, you wake up when you feel Ghost Bae slide into his side of the bed. Then all these drunk emotions take control and you’re freezing and all you want to do is feel wanted and comforted and warmed with his body heat. You scoot over and reach for Ghost Bae’s hand and feel him pull away and turn his back to you. At that moment, all composure goes out the window and you’re unsure if the liquor got you tripping or if your feelings are so fragile from trying to be strong for so long. One thing you know you better not do is beg a man so you roll over and go to sleep, only to wake up with a wet pillow and crocodile tears rolling down your face. You go to the bathroom and realize that you must have been crying in your sleep because your eyes are red and puffy. All you want is some comfort so you text the only person that can make you feel better and miraculously it works, but not before taking a drama queen selfie of yourself crying. You eventually fall back to sleep with your emotional armor back on and determined to make it through this trip.
The rest of the trip you get a lot of strange looks from Ghost Bae and his family is constantly asking you if you’re ok because you’re so quiet and deep in thought. You begin to ignore the snide remarks and fall into your comfortable introverted shell where you feel ok with being alone. Despite wondering if you should let Ghost Bae know how you’re feeling, you understand that him knowing how you feel won’t likely change his behaviors so why waste your time. Even though you’ve felt belittled and ignored, you won’t allow yourself to stop being the person you are because you’re past the point of allowing someone else’s actions to dictate your reaction. For the remainder of the trip you truly enjoy yourself because you no longer have expectations and you are finally able to accept that you and Ghost Bae are over and that it is ok. After you reach that point, you enjoy his company and when you all return home, you know that you both will go your separate ways with an unspoken understanding that it was fun while it lasted. You all used to talk about how you had that type of love that Avant sang about in “When It Hurts,” but you realize that Ghost Bae can’t love you if he doesn’t even like you.
Your last day in LA, after really enjoying to QT with Ghost Bae, you decide to spend the day alone to reflect on your relationship and all that has happened since the first correspondence. You remember why you fell in love with this man and recognize that while he is an amazing man, he chose to stop being amazing to you. You wonder if he is taking this time away from you to reflect on his actions and acknowledge the things about you that made him fall in love too. Throughout the day you text back and forth and he checks on you the way he used to.
Now here it is a week later and you have felt waves of sadness because you really like his family and you hope that they don’t think badly about you because you chose yourself over Ghost Bae. You also think about all the things you had planned that you didn’t get to do because the tone of the trip was so different than when you initially made plans; the whale watching boat tour, holding hands and watching the sunset on the beach, the couples massage. You wonder if you all can have a friendship but decide to leave it up to God. You also realize that you’re the type of woman that tries to learn from everything and realize that you learned a lot about who you are as a person and how to be a friend while at the same time staying true to who you are!
If you’ve learned nothing, you’ve learned; to pay the extra money in case you need a refund, don’t get too attached to the family no matter how great they are, keep drankin and it will be just fine!